brooklyn gal for a while

Let me count the ways

Elizabeth Barrett Browning once wrote, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." This was in 1850. About a century and half later, I will update this line with "How do I screw up a date? Let me count the ways."

• Most recently I was on a date to the Angelika (a cinema that has a cafe in it, kind of a waiting area to the movie) and because it was cold out we both got some tea to take into the movie with us. Now, we all know that hot beverages are HOT (thank you McDs), so we carefully wrapped our cups with napkins as insulation and steadily held them infront of us as we desended the escalator to go to the theater. We gingerly had set the paper cups of tea in the too large cup-holder arm rest spots as we shed a few layers of clothing. I had leaned down as I rumaged through my purse to silence my cell when I heard him say something. As I turned toward him I knocked his arm which was holding the aforementioned cup, this jolt (of course) sent a nice wave of hot tea directly onto date's crotch. what's a girl to do? "sorry" didnt seem bold enough to match the "surprised" expression on his face. I offered my napkins . . . he just took a lot of deep breaths. . .
• I am seeing a vegetarian. I know he is a vegetarian. It was my turn to pick a restaurant, so I picked a Thai place nearby. I know they have tofu dishes. (I didnt want to eat meat in front of him since I wasnt sure how "hard core" of a veggie he was yet). When we got to the restaurant and were seated we were in a deep conversation and I didnt really get a chance to look at the menu. The date was going with tofu pad thai, and while that is a good standard, I wanted to try something new. So I quickly glance through the "vegetable section" and pick one with onions and carrots (I like both onions and carrots). We return to the conversation at hand. I'm sure you already know where I am going with this, but I'll write it out for the slow crowd. Yes, the waitress brought the date his tofu pad thai and me a plate with carrots and onions sprinkled over a mound of sizzling beef. Lovely. *
• Its a first date. I am meeting a guy I have emailed close to a dozen times, but havent talked to and have only seen one photo of. The picture is of a white guy with brown hair. I walk into the bar where we are meeting and there are 3 separate guys fitting the above description all sitting one chair apart, all watching me walk in. Hmm. I slowed down trying to look at each of them in the "mood" lighting of the pub. One looks away. Yes, have it narrowed down to two of them. One is cuter. I step towards the first one along the path. The voice of the next guy on the bar speaks up. whoops.**
• The problem with going out with several different guys is that there are several different names floating around in my head. Now, to my knowledge, I have never called anyone by the wrong name. I think this is because I keep a steady monologue in my head of "T___, T__, T___" whenever I am calling T___ or about to meet T___. But this has, on one ccasion, led to me concentrating so hard on getting the name correct that I forgot the actual reason I was calling. lame.
• The last tale this evening may be the biggest date debacle as yet. Each individual hitch wasn't necessarily all that bad . . . well . . . it started off poorly because I had a last minute patient and was therefore late to meet him. On my way to the bar, as I ran up the steps of Union Sq station, I lost a shoe. As I scrambled down the steps after it I hoped this wasnt a sign. Once settled with the date, waiting for a table, I proceeded to tell a somewhat lengthy tale only at the end to have the date cock his head and say yes, you emailed me about that last week. At dinner things were going pretty smoothly. I was having fun. Then I must have touched my neck because I noticed my necklace was missing. I looked down, not in my lap, not in the seat, then I noticed it had fallen under my shirt, the latch attached to the strap of my cami. I thought I could covertly remove the necklace from between layers of clothing, making it look like I was scratching my shoulder. In the end, I had underestimated how well attached the latch was to my undershirt. . . the look on the date's face pretty much said "why are you feeling yourself up during dinner?" actually, I think he liked it. Once I did free said necklace I appologized and excused myself to the bathroom (where I should have just gone in the first place, i realize that now) to compose myself. When I returned things continued to go well and we decided to check out some bands playing at NorthSix. I managed to trip twice on the walk to the train, but by now, that was nothing. On the L train though, I realized I had a new problem. A girl's worse nightmare. It must have registered on my face because he asked what was wrong. It was a crowded train though so I just said I'd tell him later. Climbing the steps at Bedford was difficult, but I tried to be discreet. As we walked down N 6th, I couldnt keep the act up any longer. He noticed. "Are you OK? You are walking kind of funny." I had to fess up . . . "well, my tights have aborted themselves of any elastic and are currently around my knees, on their way further south." He laughed, opened the door to the venue and pointed to the restroom.

*the date didnt mind the beef, said he wouldnt be veg if he could digest meat. i still feel kinda bad about it.
** well i'll be. the cuter one was my date!

posted by gordian knot @ Wednesday, February 22, 2006